Friday, 15 November 2013
Wednesday, 9 October 2013
1. Ultrabland £6.95/100g
Many people have failed to understand why Lush staff rave about this cleanser - until they've tried it for themselves usually. It's made with a mixture of beeswax, honey and almond oil as a make up remover called a 'cold cream' but recipes similar have been used since the ancient Egyptians to take off their famously colourful slap. It works because when you rub the mixture into your make up (giving yourself some magnificent panda eyes at the same time) it breaks down the oils and gunk in your make up, including mascara, eyeliner and pan stage make up so when you put lovely warm water on a flannel or cotton pad it all just lifts straight off your face. Magic.
Almost anyone can use this make up remover, because it's suitable from the dryest of dry skins all the way up to mega oily, spot prone skin. Dry skins love it because of benzoin resinoid in the ingredients which keeps skins supple and soft and oily skins can thrive on this stuff because of the breaking down of oil action it supplies meaning you can have soft skin which is miles less spotty usually.
It can seem a faff switching from a make up cleansing wipes to ultrabland but it's completely worth it, your skin will love you for it because you'll be feeding it whilst getting it clean. It's fine for gents too - even non make up wearing ones. Yup, it can leave a fairly unpleasant scum on your sink but that's the stuff that's been on your face so stiffen your resolve and clean your sink a bit more regularly.
2. Buffy £10.75/200g
I was always happy to recommend this one when I worked for them and still find myself recommending it now (generally after a bit to drink and overhearing someone complain about their arms in bar toilets) It's a great big chunk of cocoa butter mixed up with scrubby rice bran and ground almonds and with some magic essential oils in there (lavender, lemon) which can near enough get rid of that nasty looking chicken skin on the tops of peoples arms. Also handy for cellulite and bobbly bottoms. It's a bit messy because when you use it in the shower you get a bit of cocoa butter on the shower floor (so no dancing in the shower afterwards!) and scrubby bits left behind but the visible difference in your skin afterwards means you often end up completely forgiving it. They also do a smaller 100g bar for £6.25 for first tries and holidays.
3. Fresh Face Masks £5.95/75g
I know keeping a face mask in the fridge might seem a bit strange but it's for the best in the long run. I've used a whole load of face masks but rarely seem to enjoy using any as much as the Lush ones. My two favourites Cupcake and Ayesha are both pretty messy being chocolate and kiwi based respectively. I'm not going to go into much detail about these two because I would always recommend asking your local Lush staff for advice rather than buying one just because you've read about it. They train really hard and will always make sure you get the best one for your skin. I love Ayesha and was pretty well known in the shop for not using it on my face.. but on my chest. It firms and perfects skin and makes everything look pretty spiffing and is great when you're going to be wearing something strappy. However rinsing kiwi seeds out of the bath is a bit of a pain, particularly if you forget to do it straight away and then freak the hell out because you think your bath is full of creatures.
4. Any Soap
I'm not kidding, I know solid soap seems old fashioned and leaves bubble scum on your soap dish but it's just better. Yup, just better. More hygienic, better value for money and much more of a pleasing experience. My favourites are Miranda (fruity) and Snowcake (Christmas only, marzipan scented.)
5. No Drought £6.75/115g
I love dry shampoo. Just do. I wear my hair pinned up most days and dry shampoo makes my hair more manageable I also don't like washing it every single day because it's bleached and needs treating kindly most of the time. It's messy because it's a powder dry shampoo rather than spray in and so if you spill it you get little patches on your carpet (easily hoovered up though) but super fine cornflour soaks up excess oil and lemon and grapefruit oils balance your scalp out and make your hair smell like a tropical cocktail. To minimize the mess I stick my head upside down over the bath and put my No Drought in using my fingers over there, when I next shower or rinse the bath out the dry shampoo all disappears. Hurrah!
That sums up my favourite five messy but worth it Lush products - go visit their website to find out where your nearest one is and if you're in the area go buy things from the wonderful team at Lush Meadowhall - they're fab.
Wednesday, 24 April 2013
Since being young I have had the same recurring dream which in family shorthand became "Squish" where I travel down a conveyor belt get squished by a number of different plates and eventually get turned into a bowling ball. Bowled down a bowling alley and I'm still aware at this point I would be watched scooting down the alley by a little old lady at a table complete with doilies. I've had this dream maybe a couple of times a month for as long as I remember.
That aside my dream last night was frankly freaky and ridiculous. In some weird Lolita/Sci-Fi crossover I inhabited the body of a boarding school girl and also of Leonard Nemoy's Spock who was a teacher at said boarding school. From the Lolita reference, I bet you can guess where this is going....
So I am playing both parts in this dream remember, the girl is madly in love with her teacher and the Spock/teacher is strangely attracted to this girl. In the course of the dream Spock/teacher gets injured (his back I think) and is laying in the infirmary wing of the school when the girl sneaks in to see him. She assumes he's asleep laying on his front and so undresses to lay in the bed with him. He isn't, in fact, asleep, but pretends to be to see what the girl will do. So here I am, both this teenage girl (a hot bed of sexual desire, hormones and self importance - I remember) and also a teacher who looks and sounds like Spock. The teacher doesn't stir as she climbs in bed and so she's emboldened and naked climbs onto his back. She's laid with her breasts touching his shoulders, but otherwise flat, non sexual along his back. Teacher/Spock is stirred by this and speaks to her, I can't remember the conversation but it ended with the girl saying "Yes, but I know you want me laid her. I'm making your back better." The two begin a relationship. Er, this is a sexy part of the dream, which I'm not going to write out on here. Not in detail anyway.
Time jump and the relationship has been discovered, the girl has been expelled and the teacher/Spock fired and the girl introduces him to her family - which are Dutch. Food is served at a tense dinner table with teacher/Spock giving a blessing beforehand which ends "Live long, and prosper" of course the mother serves teacher/Spock a hearty meal from one of these funny looking serving dishes but the rest of the family gets a rather poorer meal of just potatoes and vegetables.
Somewhere around here the dream ended, but it's probably the strangest one I've had in a while.
Thursday, 4 April 2013
Monday, 18 March 2013
2) chubby guys love me. Sadly.
3) People have forgotten about punctuation. "hi how are you having a good day cute pic" makes me angry.
4) Things that I have written with a little sarcasm in my profile some people think I'm being serious about. These people are not for me.
5) Your opening line is "ur hot, wanna meet tonite. Ill drive"? Fuck off.
6) You're 20? I'm 23 mate and I'm looking for someone more mature than the sadsacks I'm currently bouncing between. You're just a baby.
7) Old enough to be my dad? Sod off. The sugar daddy thing on my facebook was a JOKE.
8) gingers love me too...
9) LOOK AT YOUR FACE MAN! You've not got a chance mate.
10) Another TWO fatties in the last ten minutes have messaged me.
Saturday, 23 February 2013
Myself, my two older sisters and my mum all look very similar - especially when we're all smiling (we all have exactly the same smile.)
However, my friend once told me I reminded of a silent movie actress and it took us ages to remember her name, it should have been easier - she was killed by the mob (allegedly)
Thelma Todd was mysteriously found dead of carbon monoxide poisoning in her car in a locked garage.
Here she is, in some pretty soft focus, with lovely long hair that I could only dream of. And a rather nice frock
In pictures such as this one I can see some similarities between my features and hers although I think it's largely down to face shape and feature spacing.
In the smaller picture too I see my daft grin although I'd love to be able to give those doe-eyes.
I draw more links between myself and Clara Bow-who was the original "It Girl" she hennaed her hair and had the most lovely shaped lips I've ever seen. Clara Bow was a bit crazy and had all sorts of scandalous things linked to her, she was the original 'her and the whole of the football team' lady! Accused of such outrageous acts as exhibitionism and lesbianism she seemed to go a little crazy and retired from public life in the 1930's.
I love this picture in particular, and I'm fairly sure I've pulled that face on a number of occasions.
What both of these actress' have in common seems to be a very particular 1920's face shape and chin. Which would explain why none of today's actresses have a similar look (just not fashionable) which leads me to believe I was born around 100 years too late.
As I'm going through this period of re-invention, my hair is back to a natural colour and reasonable length I'm considering making a concious decision what style route to take next. I'm thinking 1920's bob that can be super smooth and pointy around the face or cute and curly like the classic finger curls on the pictures I've already shown.
Basically I want to look like this. But still like myself.
Sunday, 10 February 2013
Of course in the evolution of the female Manics fan I've reached the stage where I fancy James Dean Bradfield but I still think he was an amazing man.
And any guy that can apply eyeliner that well should get a fucking medal.
Anyway she asked me the inevitable question of whether I think he's vanished or dead. My honest answer is that he probably did commit suicide, but I hope Hope that he's alive somewhere and happy. It's all you can hope for another human being sometimes.
Friday, 1 February 2013
Just a quick post tonight. My top 5 films.
1) A Life Less Ordinary
2) A Streetcar Named Desire
3) Gangster No1
4) Inglorious Basterds
5) Withnail and I
It's in no particular order, and I don't claim to be particularly knowledgeable about films but these five I can always watch again.
Thursday, 24 January 2013
Whether it's when I am feeling grim and full of angsty hate and I listen to Faster (I am, stronger than MENSA..) with a smug bitch of a smile on my face or I'm listening to Masses Against the Classes and I get all left-y and powerful or Small Black Flowers and I think of Arno and the snow of Somero.
There are so many things I would have never done without this band. Some of my favourite books I would have never read, I would have never visited Auschwitz, I wouldn't have deliberately and publicly smeared salt into a cut just to piss off someone that thought they knew best. I definitely would never have developed my whole attitude and outlook on life the way I have with out this band.
I have a cheap plectrum style necklace with Manic Street Preachers printed on there which I often wear to work and sometimes it gets commented on by customers as I pop them through the till, my favourite ever being " Oh, you like the Manics? I thought you were all cheerful here!" I have to admit I had a good long laugh at that one for days.
I've seen the boys 6 or more times now and they're currently coming to the end of a break from performing live in the UK, cannot wait for them to get out and about again so I can immediately spend all my money on tickets. These days I am more comfortable about going to a gig alone if I have no one to take along with me. Nevertheless, it would be lovely to have company.
It's always lovely to go to a gig with someone else that loves the band.
- I've never met these characters
- I only know what the author has give me as information
- Mostly they look how I interpret the descriptions
- They're just not real.
Tuesday, 22 January 2013
The colour. Sort of the colour.
This is the first of my 'proper' posts. The others have all be melodramatic moaning about my life.
So, yes let's get it out of the way - as you can see from my profile picture my hair is pink. That doesn't mean that I automatically <3 pink.
What it actually means is that when I am intellectually stagnant I do stupid stuff - usually to my hair.
Occasionally when I'm at work, trying to persuade actual grown ups that a blue robot bath ballistic won't turn their precious princess into a lesbian, I say "some girls don't even like pink - I don't!" I just see their faces go blank as they look at my hair. I have no answer to this other than pink hair suits me better than blue or green or red and I've had purple hair before so I don't want a repeat of that.
It of course, happens the other way around when little boys want the sweet pink bath ballistic with love hearts inside mums will bat them away going "no, that one's for little girls." No, it isn't. It is for anyone that wants it. The colour of your bathwater doesn't mean anything. I have gone so far as to say just that to people because I am fed up of listening to real adults restrict their kids from something because of it's colour.
I had a similar flap recently when mooching aimlessly around Wilkinsons I came across a PINK tool set, for GURLS obviously.
Right, retailers shall we get this straight?
Women do not need a gendered hammer, it's a blunt instrument for whacking nails into walls/furniture or errant partners around the head (joke) I don't need a screwdriver to be pink when I am trying to affix a shelf to the wall. It's nonsense. Possibly nonsense put together by a man who thinks that buying his wife/girlfriend/whatever a pink tool set means that she'll help out with the DIY.
I actually have a small set of tools, I live alone and I don't want to have to call my dad every time a bulb blows. They aren't pink and it makes me no less of a woman to use tools that aren't pink. But still whenever I've had to have someone come into my little home to help fix the boiler or the sink they ask "I don't suppose you have any tools? Do you?" And look genuinely shocked when I produce a selection from the kitchen drawer.
As I kid I played with Barbie, usually dangling her naked out of my bedroom window to scare one of my sisters in the kitchen below, I also played with LEGO. I built castles and huge towering thrones for the tiny LEGO people to sit on and oppress their fellow people (tiny dictator in the making.) I had a little play kitchen and chop up food (anyone else remember that, with velcro holding the pieces together?) And I played football with the next door neighbours. Kids should be allowed to play at what they want, not just what we deem suitable for their gender. Would Marie Curie have played with radioactive material if she'd stuck to female pastimes? Would Queen Victoria have been Empress of India if she'd allowed Albert to rule for her? There are hundreds, if not thousands of other examples I'm certain - can we forget all this ancient modern gender nonsense?
Tuesday, 15 January 2013
Your psychological nature is bilious with aggressive impulses that spur the transformation of your being and of any situation you are involved in. You are constantly struggling to assert yourself. You cannot refrain from testing others with cutting remarks, not because you want to hurt them, but because you want to know them better through their reaction; life and the feeling of aliveness are experienced through rebellion and tension. Your aggressive attitude may equate with sly inquisition as often, you remain silent, introverted and secretive, mulling over turbulent thoughts in the depths of your mind, leaving others puzzled by your quite strange behaviour.Hilarious and true.
With this Ascendant, you come across as secretive, powerful, dominating, enduring, intuitive, assertive, charismatic, magnetic, wilful, daring, clear-sighted, passionate, creative, independent, vigorous, generous, loyal, hard-working, persevering, indomitable, possessive, shrewd, stubborn, ambitious, instinctive, tenacious, sexual, sexy, proud, intense and competitive. But you may also be aggressive, destructive, stubborn, anxious, tyrannical, perverse, sadistic, violent, self-centered, complex, critical, cruel, nasty, jealous, calculating, vulnerable and dissembling.